76

While Sucharita was leaning over the trunk, busily arranging the clothes in order to conceal her tears, word came that Gauramohon Babu had arrived.

Sucharita quickly dried her eyes, abandoned her work, and rose to her feet. And at that very moment Gora entered the room.

The tilak still remained on Gora’s brow — he had not even thought of it. He wore still the same silk cloth as before. It is not customary for anyone to call upon a household in such a state of dress. The memory of the very first day she had met Gora came back to Sucharita’s mind. She had known that on that day Gora had come specially attired, as if for battle — was today too an occasion for that same battle dress?

The moment Gora arrived, he prostrated himself fully to the ground before Paresh, touching his head to the floor in reverent salutation, and took the dust of his feet. Paresh rose in haste and lifted him up, saying, “Come, come, my child — sit down.”

Gora said, “Paresh Babu, I am free of all bonds.”

Paresh looked at him with astonishment and said, “What bonds?”

Gora said, “I am not a Hindu.”

Paresh said, “Not a Hindu!”

Gora said, “No, I am not a Hindu. I have learned today that I am a foundling of the time of the Mutiny, and my father was an Irishman. From the north to the south of India, every door of every temple has this day been shut against me; today there is no place set for me at table in any community throughout the whole country.”

Paresh and Sucharita sat as though turned to stone. Paresh could not think what to say to him.

Gora said, “I am free today, Paresh Babu! I need no longer fear that I shall be cast out, that I shall become an outcast — I need no longer pick my way at every step, watching the ground, to preserve my purity.”

Sucharita gazed without blinking at Gora’s luminous face.

Gora said, “Paresh Babu — all these years I have striven with my whole soul to attain India — and at some point or other there has always been an obstruction. I have spent my whole life, day and night, in the effort to reconcile those obstructions with my devotion — in the endeavour to lay the very foundation of that devotion on the firmest possible ground, I could accomplish nothing else — that was my one sole pursuit. And for that very reason, whenever I have tried to see the real India with clear eyes and serve her, I have again and again turned back in fear — I have constructed an inviolable, serene, imaginary India, and striven to keep my devotion sheltered in complete safety within that impregnable fortress. What a battle have I not waged all these years against everything around me to achieve this! Today, in a single moment, that fortress of the imagination has flown away like a dream. I have been released entirely, and all at once I have found myself within a vast truth. All the good and ill, joy and sorrow, knowledge and ignorance of all India has come and pressed itself against my breast — today I am truly entitled to serve — the true field of action has opened before me — it is not a field within the chambers of my own mind — it is the genuine field of welfare for the twenty-five crores of people in this outer world.”

The surging fervour of this newly found realisation seemed to stir even Paresh — he could not remain seated; he rose from his chair and stood.

Gora said, “Do you truly understand what I am saying? That which I had been striving day and night to become, yet could not — today I have become that very thing. Today I am Indian. Within me there is no conflict with any community — Hindu, Muslim, Christian. Today the caste of all in India is my caste, the food of all is my food. You see — I have travelled through many districts of Bengal, and have accepted hospitality even in the humblest villages. Do not think I have merely delivered speeches at assemblies in the city — yet I was never able in any way to sit side by side with every kind of person. All this time I have carried an invisible partition with me wherever I went — and could never cross it. Because of this there was a profound emptiness within my heart. I have tried by every means to deny that emptiness — I have tried to ornament that very emptiness with all manner of decoration, to make it appear even more beautiful! For I love India more than my own life — and wherever I could discern her, I could not endure the slightest shadow of reproach against any part of what I saw. Today, Paresh Babu, I am delivered from that vain and futile effort to fabricate those ornaments — I am saved!”

Paresh said, “When we truly find truth, it satisfies our soul with all its lacks and imperfections — there is not the slightest desire to adorn it with false embellishments.”

Gora said, “You see, Paresh Babu — last night I prayed to God that this morning I might receive a new life. I prayed that all the falsehood and impurity that had clothed me from childhood might be utterly destroyed and that I might be reborn. God did not heed the specific shape of my prayer — He suddenly placed His own truth directly in my hands and astounded me. That He would thus eradicate my impurity entirely at the root — that I had never imagined even in a dream. Today I have become so pure that I no longer fear defilement even in the house of a chandala. Paresh Babu — this morning I have, with a completely unveiled soul, come into this world and fallen into the lap of India — what it truly means to rest in a mother’s arms I have, after all this time, at last come to know in all its fullness.”

Paresh said, “Gaur — into the belonging you have found at your mother’s breast, carry us along with you as well.”

Gora said, “Do you know why, having been liberated today, I have come to you first of all?”

Paresh said, “Why?”

Gaur said, “Because the mantra of this liberation abides with you — and it is for this very reason that you have found no place in any community today. Make me your disciple. Give me today the mantra of that deity who belongs to Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Brahmo alike — whose temple door is never barred against any caste, any person, on any day — who is not merely the deity of the Hindus, but the deity of India.”

A gentle shadow of deep and tender devotion passed across Paresh Babu’s face; he lowered his eyes and stood in silence.

After all this time, Gora turned towards Sucharita. She was sitting utterly still upon her chair.

Gora smiled and said, “Sucharita, I am no longer your teacher. I come to you with this one entreaty — take my hand and lead me to your teacher there.”

Saying this, Gora extended his right hand towards her and stepped forward. Sucharita rose from her chair, went to him, and placed her hand in his. Then Gora, with Sucharita beside him, made his reverential salutation to Paresh.

✭✭✭✭✭ Epilogue ✭✭✭✭✭

Returning home after dusk, Gora found Anandamayi sitting in silence on the veranda before her room.

The moment he came in, Gora drew both her feet toward him and laid his head upon them. Anandamayi lifted his head in both her hands and kissed him.

Gora said, “Mother, you are my mother. The mother I have been searching for all this while was sitting here within my own home. You are without caste, without judgement, without contempt — you are nothing but the image of all that is good. You are my India.—

“Mother, now call your Lachhmiyan. Tell her to bring me water.”

Then Anandamayi, her voice soft and trembling with tears, spoke close to Gora’s ear: “Gora, let me send for Binoy now.”