52

Pareshbabu said, “Binoy, I do not wish you to do something rash for the sake of rescuing Lalita from a predicament. Social gossip is of little worth; what creates a commotion today will be forgotten by everyone within a day or two.”

Binoy had not the slightest doubt in his mind that it was purely out of a sense of duty towards Lalita that he had girded himself and come. He knew that such a marriage would cause difficulties in society, and more than that — Gora would be greatly angered — but he had driven away these unpleasant thoughts from his mind by invoking the sole claim of duty. At that moment, when Pareshbabu suddenly proposed to dispense entirely with this sense of duty, Binoy found himself unwilling to let it go.

He said, “The debt of your family’s affection towards me I can never repay. If, on my account, even the slightest disturbance should come to your household for so much as two days, that too would be unbearable for me.”

Pareshbabu said, “Binoy, you are not quite understanding what I say. I am very pleased by the regard you bear us, but the idea that you have made yourself ready to marry my daughter as a duty — in payment of that regard — is not worthy of my daughter. That is why I was telling you that the predicament is not so grave as to require any sacrifice on your part whatsoever.”

So then — Binoy was released from the obligation of duty. But when the door of the cage is opened, a bird does not at once flutter away into the open air of freedom — and his heart did not rush down the unobstructed path of escape. Still it refused to stir. Having seized upon duty as his pretext, he had long since broken through the dam of self-restraint, dismissing it as unnecessary, and settled in beyond. Where once his heart had ventured with timid steps and retreated in guilty hesitation, there it had now spread itself out and claimed the whole space as its own — to dislodge it now would be a difficult matter. When the sense of duty that had led him there by the hand said, “There is no further need — come, friend, let us go back” — his heart replied, “If you have no further need, you may go; I shall remain here.”

When Paresh left him no shelter or screen to hide behind, Binoy burst out: “Please do not imagine for a moment that I am going to accept some hardship out of a sense of duty. If you give your consent, nothing in the world could be a greater happiness for me — my only fear is lest —”

The truth-loving Pareshbabu said openly, “There is no ground for what you fear. I have heard from Sucharita that Lalita’s heart is not averse to you.”

A flash of joy shot through Binoy’s heart. A secret of Lalita’s heart had been disclosed to Sucharita. When had it been disclosed — and how? The piercing, mysterious sweetness of this knowledge — conveyed between two friends through hints and surmise — seemed to pierce Binoy through and through.

Binoy exclaimed, “If you consider me worthy, there is nothing in the world that could give me greater joy.”

Pareshbabu said, “Wait a moment. Let me come back from upstairs.”

He went upstairs to consult Baradasundari. Baradasundari said, “Binoy will of course have to be initiated.”

Pareshbabu said, “Yes, naturally he will.”

Baradasundari said, “Settle that first. Call Binoy up here.”

When Binoy came upstairs, Baradasundari said, “Well then, a date for the initiation must be fixed.”

Binoy said, “Is initiation necessary?”

Baradasundari said, “Not necessary! What are you saying! Without it, how is your marriage to take place within the Brahmo Samaj?”

Binoy sat in silence, his head bowed. On hearing that Binoy had agreed to marry into their household, Pareshbabu had assumed as a matter of course that Binoy would take initiation and enter the Brahmo Samaj.

Binoy said, “I have always had respect for the religious principles of the Brahmo Samaj, and in my conduct until now I have not acted contrary to them. But is it necessary to undergo formal initiation?”

Baradasundari said, “If your beliefs are already in agreement, what harm is there in being initiated?”

Binoy said, “For me, it is impossible to say that I am not of Hindu society.”

Baradasundari said, “In that case, even raising the matter has been wrong of you. Have you agreed, out of charity, to marry my daughter as a favour to us?”

Binoy was deeply wounded; he saw that his proposal had indeed become something humiliating for them.

Some time ago the Civil Marriage Act had been passed. At the time, both Gora and Binoy had written sharply against that Act in the press. Now, to accept a civil marriage and declare himself “not a Hindu” — that too was no small matter.

That Binoy should remain within Hindu society and marry Lalita — this proposal Paresh found himself unable to accept in his heart. With a long sigh Binoy rose to his feet, made his salutation to both of them, and said, “Forgive me — I shall not compound my offence any further.”

Saying this, he went out of the room. Coming to the staircase, he saw that in one corner of the front verandah, Lalita sat alone at a small writing-desk, composing a letter. At the sound of his footstep she raised her eyes and looked at Binoy’s face. That brief glance of hers stirred the whole of Binoy’s being in an instant. It was not as though Binoy and Lalita were newly acquainted — how many times had she raised her eyes to his face — yet what mystery was it that revealed itself in her gaze today? Sucharita had come to know a secret of Lalita’s heart — and that secret now surfaced in the shadow of Lalita’s dark lashes, filled with a tender compassion, and appeared before Binoy’s eyes like a soft, moist cloud. In Binoy’s own glance of a single moment, the anguish of his heart flashed across like lightning; he bowed to Lalita and, without a word of greeting, descended the stairs and went away.