50

At the very hour when Haranbabu was making his appearance at Binoy’s lodgings, Abinash had gone to Anandamayi and informed her that Binoy’s marriage to Lalita had been settled.

Anandamayi said, “That cannot be true.”

Abinash said, “Why cannot it be true? Is such a thing impossible for Binoy?”

Anandamayi said, “That I cannot say — but a matter of this magnitude Binoy would never have concealed from me.”

Abinash repeated again and again that he had heard this news from within the Brahmo community itself, and that it was entirely credible. That Binoy would come to just such a lamentable end he had known long beforehand — indeed, he had forewarned Gora on the subject — and having announced this to Anandamayi with great self-satisfaction, he went downstairs to deliver the news to Mahim as well.

When Binoy arrived that day, Anandamayi could tell from the very look of his face that a particular anguish had taken root within him. She fed him and then called him into her own room and seated him there. She asked, “Binoy, tell me — what has happened?”

Binoy said, “Mother, read this letter.”

After Anandamayi had read the letter, Binoy said, “This morning Panubabu came to my lodgings — he gave me a thorough scolding before he left.”

Anandamayi asked, “Why?”

Binoy said, “He says that my conduct has given rise to disparaging talk in their community about Pareshbabu’s daughters.”

Anandamayi said, “People are saying that your marriage to Lalita has been settled — in that I see nothing worthy of reproach.”

Binoy said, “Were the marriage a possibility, there would be nothing to reproach. But where there is no prospect of it whatsoever, to spread such a rumour is a very great wrong! And to circulate such reports about Lalita in particular is the most contemptible cowardice.”

Anandamayi said, “If you have even a little manliness in you, Binu, you can protect Lalita from this cowardice without any difficulty.”

Binoy asked in astonishment, “How, Mother?”

Anandamayi said, “How indeed! By marrying Lalita!”

Binoy said, “What are you saying, Mother! I cannot imagine what you think of your Binoy. You suppose that if Binoy merely says once, ‘I shall marry,’ then nothing in the world can be said against it — that everything is simply waiting and watching for a single gesture from me.”

Anandamayi said, “I see no need for you to think of so much. If you do your part as much as lies within your power, that is enough. You can say, ‘I am ready to marry.’”

Binoy said, “Would it not be insulting to Lalita if I were to say something so preposterous?”

Anandamayi said, “Why do you call it preposterous? When the rumour of your marriage has already arisen, it has surely arisen because it is not without some basis. I tell you, you need feel no hesitation at all.”

Binoy said, “But Mother, I must also think of Gora.”

Anandamayi said in a firm voice, “No, my dear — in this matter there is no question of thinking of Gora. I know he will be angry — I do not wish him to be angry with you. But what is to be done? If you have any regard for Lalita, you cannot allow a stain of humiliation to remain upon her before society for all time.”

But this was no easy thing. Could he prepare so great a wound for Gora — that Gora who was imprisoned, and for whom his affection seemed to flow with even doubled force? And then there was the weight of deep-rooted custom. To transgress society in one’s mind is easy enough — but when it comes to transgressing it in action, one finds oneself pulled back at every turn, great and small. A dread of the unfamiliar, a refusal of the unaccustomed, pushes one backwards without reason or argument.

Binoy said, “Mother, the more I see of you the more I marvel. How did your heart become so utterly clear! Do you not have to walk on the ground — has God given you wings? Does nothing stand in your way?”

Anandamayi laughed and said, “God has left nothing in my path to impede me. He has swept everything clean.”

Binoy said, “And yet, Mother, whatever I may say with my lips, my heart is held back. So much reading and listening and reasoning I do — and then suddenly I find my heart has remained an utter fool throughout.”

At that moment Mahim entered the room and, the instant he saw Binoy, put a question to him about Lalita in so blunt and coarse a manner that Binoy’s heart recoiled with pain. He controlled himself, lowered his head, and sat in silence without reply. Mahim then aimed sharp thrusts at all concerned, delivered several deeply offensive remarks, and departed. He conveyed the understanding that it was precisely to ensnare Binoy and ruin him that an unconscionable scheme had been afoot in Pareshbabu’s household; that Binoy had fallen into such a trap only because he was a fool; and, as for Gora — let them try their wiles on Gora, he would like to see that. That was a sterner place to try.

Seeing humiliation staring at him from every side, Binoy sat utterly still. Anandamayi said, “Do you know, Binoy, what your duty is?”

Binoy raised his face and looked at her. Anandamayi said, “You ought to go once to Pareshbabu. A conversation with him will clear up everything.”