72

Preparations began for the assembly of expiation in a garden by the Ganges.

Abinash felt a pang of regret that the ceremony was taking place outside Calcutta, and that it would therefore not attract public attention as it ought. Abinash knew that there was no personal need of expiation for Gora — the need was for the people of the country. The moral effect! That was why such a thing had to be done before a crowd.

But Gora would not agree. The manner in which he wished to perform this — with a great sacrificial fire, with the recitation of Vedic mantras — was ill-suited to the city of Calcutta. For this a hermitage was needed. On a secluded bank of the Ganges, resonant with study and lit by the flame of the sacred fire, he would invoke that ancient India which is the teacher of the world, and having bathed and become pure, he would receive from her the initiation into new life. Gora was not concerned with moral effect.

Abinash, having no other recourse, took refuge in the newspapers. Without informing Gora, he spread the news of this expiation through every newspaper. Not only that — he wrote long pieces for the editorial columns, making it known in particular that no fault could touch so ardent and pure a Brahmin as Gora, yet Gora was taking upon his own shoulders the accumulated sins of present-day fallen India and performing expiation on behalf of the entire country. He wrote that just as our country suffers today in the captivity of foreigners as a consequence of its own misdeeds, so too had Gora accepted in his own life the suffering of that captivity. And as he had borne the country’s sorrow upon himself, so now was he preparing to perform expiation for the country’s transgressions — therefore, O brothers, Bengalis, O twenty-five crore sorrowful children of India — and so forth and so forth.

Gora read all this and grew frantic with annoyance. But there was no getting the better of Abinash. Even when Gora abused him, he took no offence — he was, if anything, pleased. ‘My guru dwells in the highest realm of ideas and understands nothing at all of earthly matters. He is like Narada dwelling in Vaikuntha, melting Vishnu with his veena and bringing about the creation of the Ganges — but the work of carrying that Ganga down to earth and restoring life to the ashes of the sons of Sagara belongs to earth’s own Bhagirath — it is not the task of one who inhabits heaven. These two tasks are entirely distinct.’ Therefore, when Gora blazed with fury at Abinash’s importunities, Abinash would laugh inwardly, and his reverence for Gora would increase. He said to himself, ‘Our guru looks exactly like Shiva, and in temperament too he is quite Bholanath — Lord of the oblivious. He understands nothing, has not a particle of worldly sense, blazes into anger at every word, and yet his anger does not take long to cool either.’

Through Abinash’s efforts, the matter of Gora’s expiation stirred up a great commotion on all sides. The numbers of those coming to his house to see him and converse with him increased still further. Letters poured in to him from all directions every day in such profusion that he ceased reading them altogether. It began to seem to Gora that this country-wide discussion had somehow diminished the purity of his expiation — it had become a rajasic affair, an affair of passion and display. The fault lay with the age.

Krishnadayal no longer so much as touched a newspaper these days, yet rumour found its way even into his hermitage. His attendants and dependants informed him with considerable pride that his worthy son Gora was about to perform expiation with great ceremony, and that following in his father’s own sacred footsteps, Gora would in time come to stand as a realised man even as his father had done.

It was impossible to say how long Krishnadayal had not set foot in Gora’s quarters. Laying aside his silken garments and putting on a plain cotton cloth, he now came and entered Gora’s room. He did not find Gora there.

He asked the servant. The servant replied that Gora was in the prayer room.

What! What business did he have in the prayer room?

He performs worship.

Krishnadayal hastened in agitation to the prayer room and found that Gora had indeed settled himself into worship.

Krishnadayal called from outside, “Gora!”

Gora rose in astonishment at his father’s arrival. Krishnadayal had established his own chosen deity in his hermitage in a particular manner. This family was Vaishnava, but he had taken initiation in a Shakta mantra, and for a long while now he had had no direct connection with the household deity.

He said to Gora, “Come, come, come outside.”

Gora came outside. Krishnadayal said, “What is the meaning of this! What business brings you here!”

Gora made no reply. Krishnadayal said, “There is a Brahmin priest here, he performs worship every day — through that, the worship of all in the household is accomplished. Why have you entered into this!”

Gora said, “There is no wrong in it.”

Krishnadayal said, “No wrong! What are you saying! There is certainly wrong! What call does one have to undertake work for which one has no entitlement? A transgression is being committed. Not yours alone — the transgression of all of us in this household.”

Gora said, “If one considers the matter from the side of inner devotion, then very few indeed have the right to sit before the deity. But are you saying that I do not possess even the right that our Ramhari Thakur there possesses to perform worship in this place?”

Krishnadayal could not immediately think of what answer to give Gora. After a brief silence he said, “Look — performing worship is Ramhari’s hereditary trade. The offences committed in the course of a trade, the deity does not take account of. If one were to hold faults against a tradesman in such a place, his trade would have to close — and then the work of society could not proceed. But you have no such justification. What need have you to enter this room?”

That even for so strict an observer of ritual as Gora, entering the prayer room constituted an offence — this did not sound entirely incongruous coming from a man like Krishnadayal. And so Gora bore it in silence and said nothing.

Then Krishnadayal said, “There is another matter I have been hearing of, Gora. I am told you have summoned all the pandits to perform an expiation?”

Gora said, “Yes.”

Krishnadayal grew greatly agitated and said, “As long as I live, I shall not allow this to happen under any circumstances.”

Gora’s mind began to rise in rebellion; he said, “Why?”

Krishnadayal said, “Why — what do you mean, why! I have told you once before — an expiation cannot take place.”

Gora said, “You did say so, but you gave no reason.”

Krishnadayal said, “I see no need to give reasons. We are your elders, your venerable seniors; there is simply no provision in the scriptures for performing such rites and ceremonies without our sanction. Are you aware that the Shraddha of the ancestors has to be performed as part of it?”

Gora said in bewilderment, “What objection can there be to that?”

Krishnadayal flared up in anger and said, “There is every objection. I cannot permit it.”

Gora, stung to the heart, said, “Look, this is my own affair. I am undertaking this for the sake of my own purity — why do you trouble yourself over it unnecessarily?”

Krishnadayal said, “Look here, Gora — do not go seeking an argument in every matter. None of this is a subject for argument. There are many things you are not yet capable of understanding. I tell you again — you believe you have entered Hindu dharma, but you are entirely mistaken. It is not within your power — every particle of your blood, from your head to your feet, is opposed to it. One cannot become a Hindu all at once; there is no way, even with the will to do so. The merit of many lives and many births is required.”

Gora’s face turned the colour of blood. He said, “I know nothing of other lives, but the right that flows through the bloodline of your family — can I not lay claim even to that?”

Krishnadayal said, “Arguments again? Does it not give you pause to contradict me to my face? On the one hand you call yourself a Hindu! And where will the foreign fire go! Listen to what I say. Put a stop to all of this.”

Gora stood with bowed head, silent and still. After a moment he said, “But if I do not perform the penance, I shall not be able to sit and eat with the others at Shashimukhi’s wedding.”

Krishnadayal brightened and exclaimed, “Well then, what harm is there in that? A separate seat shall be arranged for you.”

Gora said, “In that case I shall have to remain apart from society altogether.”

Krishnadayal said, “So much the better.”

Seeing Gora’s astonishment at this enthusiasm, he went on: “Look here — I eat with no one, not even when invited. What connection have I with society? You too wish to lead a life of purity and renunciation — it is best for you to follow the very same course. I see nothing but good in it for you.”

At midday, Krishnadayal sent for Abinash and said, “I take it that all of you together have been setting Gora dancing.”

Abinash replied, “What are you saying, sir? It is your Gora who makes all of us dance. If anything, he himself dances the least.”

Krishnadayal said, “But my boy, I tell you plainly — this penance business of yours will come to nothing. I am entirely against it. Put a stop to all of it at once.”

Abinash thought to himself: what a strange obstinacy this old man has. History furnishes abundant examples of great men’s fathers failing to appreciate their sons’ greatness — Krishnadayal was a father of precisely that kind. Had Krishnadayal spent less time with a handful of worthless mendicants and instead taken instruction from his own son, he would have benefited enormously.

Abinash was a man of tact; where argument and counter-argument bore no fruit, and where even the prospect of a moral effect was slight, he was not one to waste words in vain. He said, “Very well, sir, if you are against it, then it shall not be done. Only, preparations have all been made, invitations have already gone out, and there is no time left — but here is one thing that can be done: let Gora stay away; we ourselves shall perform the penance that day — the sins of the countrymen are not in short supply.”

Krishnadayal was set at ease by this reassurance from Abinash.

Gora had never felt particular reverence for anything Krishnadayal said. Even now he did not inwardly resolve to obey his command. In that sphere of life which stands higher than the life of the household, Gora did not consider himself bound to heed the prohibitions of his parents. Yet all through this day a great heaviness weighed upon his heart. A dim, formless conviction was taking shape within him that somewhere concealed within all of Krishnadayal’s words there lay a certain truth. A shapeless nightmare pressed upon him — one that he could not drive away by any means. It seemed to him as if some force were pushing him out and away from every side. His solitude appeared to him today in a vastly enlarged form. Before him the field of action stretched wide, the work itself was immense — and yet not a single soul stood beside him.