47

Annapurna returned from Kashi and entered Rajlakshmi's room very slowly, bowed down and touched her feet, then pressed the dust of them to her own brow. In spite of all the discord and estrangement between them, the sight of Annapurna was to Rajlakshmi like recovering a treasure she had lost. She now understood that, without knowing it, she had been longing for Annapurna in secret all this time. So much of her fatigue and so much of her anguish had been simply the want of Annapurna --- this became clear to her in a single moment at the sight of her now, after so long.

In a moment all her wounded heart took possession of its old and rightful place. Before the birth of Mahendra, these two sisters-in-law had entered this household as young brides together, accepting all its joys and sorrows together --- in worship and festivity, in grief and death, they had journeyed side by side on this household vehicle --- and the deep intimacy of those earlier years enveloped Rajlakshmi's heart now all at once. She with whom she had begun life together in some distant past, who was the one remaining refuge of all those joys and sorrows, all those beloved events --- this solitary memory had returned to be at her side in the worst of her days.

For whose sake had Rajlakshmi once struck even this woman such a cruel blow --- and where was he now? Annapurna sat beside the sick woman, took her right hand in both of hers, and said, "Didi."

"Mejo-Bou," said Rajlakshmi --- and no more words would come.

The tears ran down her cheeks. Asha, seeing this, could remain no longer --- she went into the next room and sat on the floor and wept. Annapurna did not dare to raise the subject of Mahendra with either Rajlakshmi or Asha. She called the old servant Sadhucharan and asked him, "Uncle, where is Mahin?" Sadhucharan then recounted the entire story of Binodini and Mahendra's flight.

Annapurna asked him, "And what news of Bihari?"

"He has not come in a long time," said Sadhucharan, "I cannot say exactly."

"Go to Bihari's house," said Annapurna, "and find out how he is." Sadhucharan returned and reported: "He is not at home --- he has gone to his garden by the Ganges at Bali." Annapurna called the young Doctor Nabin and asked about the patient's condition.

"Alongside the weakness of the heart," said the doctor, "dropsy has now appeared --- no one can say when death may come suddenly." In the evening, when Rajlakshmi's sufferings began to increase, Annapurna asked, "Shall I call Doctor Nabin, Didi?"

"No, Mejo-Bou," said Rajlakshmi, "Doctor Nabin can do nothing for me now."

"Then tell me whom you wish to have called," said Annapurna.

"If you could send word to Bihari, that would be good," said Rajlakshmi.

A blow fell on Annapurna's breast. One evening, when she was far from home, she had dismissed Bihari from her door in the dark with words of humiliation --- she had never been able to forget that pain. Bihari would never return to her door again. She had no hope that she would ever in this life have an occasion to undo that unkindness. Annapurna went up to Mahendra's room on the roof. This room had been the abode of joy in the house. Today it had no grace --- the bedding was in disorder, the furnishings neglected, no one had watered the plants in the terrace pots, they had dried and withered.

Understanding that Masima had gone to the roof, Asha followed her quietly. Annapurna drew her against her breast and kissed her on the forehead. Asha bent low and clasped her feet in both hands, touching her brow to them again and again. She said, "Masima, bless me, give me strength. That a human being can endure so much pain --- I never imagined it possible. Mother, how long must this go on?" Annapurna sat down there on the ground; Asha sank and lay prostrate at her feet.

Annapurna raised Asha's head onto her lap and, without speaking a word, sat in silence with folded hands and turned her heart to God. Annapurna's wordless blessing, poured out in her tender silence, entered the deepest places of Asha's heart and after so long a time brought peace. She felt as if her prayer were almost answered. God might neglect one as ignorant as herself --- but He could not disregard Masima's intercession. Finding solace and strength within her heart, Asha after a long while drew a deep breath and sat up.

"Masima," she said, "write a letter asking Bihari-Thakurpo to come."

"No," said Annapurna.

"There will be no letter."

"Then how will you send him word?" asked Asha.

"Tomorrow," said Annapurna, "I will go myself and see Bihari."