Chapter Seventeen

The woman was some five-and-twenty years of age, yet to look upon her one would not have judged her older than Nimai. Clad though she was in a soiled and knotted garment, when she entered the chamber it seemed as though the room itself were illumined. It was as though a tree concealed beneath its leaves had borne many a bud, and these had suddenly burst into flower; as though some sealed flask of rose-water had been broken open by an unseen hand; as though one had cast incense, frankincense, and sweet gum upon a fire well-nigh spent.

The fair one, having entered the chamber, looked hither and thither for her husband, and at the first she did not espy him. Presently she perceived that in the courtyard of the house stood a small tree, and there, resting his head against the trunk of the mango, Jibananda was weeping. Drawing near to him, she gently took his hand within her own. I will not say that no tears rose to her eyes — the Lord of the Universe knoweth that, had the flood within her been suffered to flow, it would have swept Jibananda away; but she suffered it not to flow.

Taking his hand in hers she said, "Fie, weep not. I know thou weepest for my sake; weep not for me — in such estate as thou hast set me, therein am I content."

Jibananda raised his head, wiped his eyes, and asked his wife, "Shanti! Wherefore this hundred-knotted, soiled raiment? Thou hast no want of food or family."

Shanti answered, "Thy wealth is reserved for thee alone. What should I do with money? I know not. When thou comest, when thou takest me again to thee —"

JIBANANDA: Take thee — Shanti! Have I then forsaken thee?

SHANTI: Not forsaken — only when thy vow is fulfilled, when thou lovest me once more —

Ere the speech was ended, Jibananda clasped Shanti in a close embrace, and laying his head upon her shoulder remained long silent. At length, with a deep sigh, he said, "Why did I come to look upon thee!"

SHANTI: And wherefore didst thou? Hast thou not broken thy vow?

JIBANANDA: Let the vow be broken — there is expiation for it. For that I am not troubled, but having seen thee, I can no longer return. It was for this that I told Nimai there was no need of the meeting. When once I look upon thee, I cannot turn back. On one side stand piety, wealth, desire, salvation, the whole round of the world; on one side stand vow and oblation, sacrifice and worship — all upon the one side, and upon the other, thou. Thou alone. I cannot always tell which side weigheth the heavier.

The country, Shanti — what shall I do with the country? Could I but win one cottah of its earth, with thee I might fashion a paradise. What have I to do with the work of the land? The sorrow of the land's folk — he that hath gotten such a wife as thou and yet forsaketh her, hath any greater grief than his in this land? He that hath beheld the hundred-knotted cloth upon thy body, is any poorer than he in the land? Thou art the helpmeet of all my religion. He that forsaketh that helpmeet, what is the eternal faith unto him?

For what religion do I roam from land to land, from forest to forest, musket on shoulder, casting away my life and heaping up this burden of sin? Whether the earth shall come into the keeping of the children, I know not; but thou art within my keeping; thou art greater than the earth; thou art my heaven. Come, let us go home — I shall return no more.

For some space Shanti could not speak. Then she said, "Fie — thou art a hero. My great happiness in this world is that I am a hero's wife. Wilt thou cast aside the hero's duty for the sake of a poor woman? Love me not — I crave not that happiness — but never, never lay down the duty of a hero. Look — tell me one thing ere thou goest — what is the expiation for this breach of vow?"

Jibananda answered, "The expiation — alms — fasting — and two-and-twenty kahans of cowries."

Shanti smiled a faint smile. She said, "What expiation is, that I know. Where one offence requireth such a penance, shall a hundred require no more?"

Jibananda, amazed and saddened, asked, "Wherefore these words?"

SHANTI: I have one boon to crave. Perform no expiation till once more we have met.

Then Jibananda said with a smile, "On that score be at ease. Without seeing thee, I shall not die. There is no such haste to die. And though I must not tarry here, yet I have not had my fill of looking upon thee; one day surely we shall meet again. One day surely our heart's desire shall be fulfilled. Now I depart; do thou grant me one request. Cast off this guise. Go and dwell in my father's homestead."

Shanti asked, "Whither goest thou now?"

JIBANANDA: To the monastery, in search of the Brahmachari. The manner of his going to the city hath put me in some unease; if I find him not at the temple, I shall go to the city.